It’s normal to feel lots of different emotions about being a parent. Everyone seems focused on baby but what about you?
You may move between fear- joy at the future of being a new, or expanded family, there may be fears around money, time and effects on the relationships in the family. All the different feelings are natural and understandable.
For the first few days after birth, it’s probably going to be a bit ‘hectic’ and you may feel very tired. Depending how things have gone and if you are able to it might be wise to think about a ‘baby-moon’
Baby-moon: a period of time following the birth of a baby during which the new parents can focus on establishing a bond with their child.
“a baby-moon is regarded as a crucial time for a family to establish itself”
Rest, Recovery and Bonding
It’s important where possible, to give yourself time to recover and take stock of what you’ve just experienced. Baby needs time to adjust to being out of the womb and on the planet!
This is sometimes known as the 4th trimester. Usually this is taken to be from the moment baby is born until around 3 months old.
Being a parent, calls for you to play many different roles including carer, teacher, playmate and in many ways their first friend.
You may hear and read lots about attachment and bonding, Ainsworth (1973) and Bowlby (1969) describe attachment as a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another over time and space.
Strategies and Resources
In Joanna Fortune’s book, 15 minute parenting (0-7 years), the recommendation is that you spend 15 minutes of engaged play with your little one. That’s the minimum required to form a relationship. Hopefully in our busy lives that’s a good place to start.
Remember, sometimes life seems like an impossible task and being a parent is a rewarding but intense challenge. You won’t always get it right. What even is right? Get help and support when you need it, or even if you feel you don’t, it’s good to share thoughts, ideas and experiences with others!